THIS is what I'm doing on a Friday night.

They shut off our cable. "They" being the cable company. It was all a mix-up. We don't owe any money. "We" being my roommate and I. She uses cable for TV watching. I don't. I use cable for internet. I've been going crazy. I love to come home, check my email, write a blog, and go to bed. I haven't been able to this week. It's my last chance to get off work early on a Friday - and it's wasted 'cause I don't know anyone to spend it with yet.
So, I'm hanging out in the closed office, checking my email. It's the most exciting Friday ever!

Actually, ok, I guess exciting things happened today. I got to hear both of George W.'s speeches(to his closed, invited guests only Portland appearance) and John Kerry's speech. Not in person, but they did play them on the radio, and we tuned in while working today. This is a non-partisan office, by the way, but "contributions of gifts are not tax deductible because we lobby" on behalf of the public interest.

So, at the urging of the other two directors in the office here, I tried to track down the cute English teacher canvasser today. I don't remember his name, and I talked to the canvass directors today trying to find out if anybody knew him. The ones in the office don't. Darn. I was going to be totally brave and ask him out tonight. Well, I am here at the office, so I am going to keep my eyes peeled to see if I can catch him if I'm still around when he gets back tonight. . . if he worked tonight. If he still works here! He did as of Wednesday, I know 'cause I saw him. But I didn't get brave enough to get his phone number then. I hope I didn't miss my only chance.

Is this a city thing, or am I hot?

I went for a walk just to take a walk, and decided to take one of my left-over disposable cameras that has a few pictures left. As I was taking a picture of this fantastic road sign that has arrows pointing to everything (the ocean, Portland Maine, different attractions in town, just everything) and how far away they are, I noticed a boy hanging up his cell phone and walking toward me. I thought nothing of it, and continued on with my walk.

Later, as I was coming around another block, this boy was again headed toward me. I smiled to acknowledge him as we were about to pass when he stopped and said, "Hi. I was going to talk to you when I saw you last time, but I was chicken. Would you like to go grab a quick tea or something?"

This is not the first time this has happened here in Portland. Is this a city thing, or am I hot?
Why can't LDS boys be so easily casual?
Why can't all of us be so easily willing to meet other people?

Email from and to Iraq

>Subject: Howdy
>Date: Sat, 7 Aug 2004 05:40:29 -0000
>
>Hey, just wanted to say hi and see what you have been up to lately.
>Anything interesting on your mind?
>
>[Name was here - he's an Air Force Pilot, a friend from North Carolina]

Hi [Air Force Pilot]!

I'm loving Portland, and just finished up a week of training in Boston, MA.

Actually, I woke up this morning thinking about my job, my family, and how I will vote in the upcoming presidential election. These are all related in the way I was thinking about them. At my job, I have the opportunity to give announcements almost daily. I realized I can use these times to practice public speaking. I can definitely speak about political issues etc. at these times, but must remain concise and purposeful. Perfect thing to practice. Also, I had a long discussion with one of my brothers regarding why he likes President Bush. I thought his reasoning was very weak, especially for his amazing arguing skill (this man wins any argument he wants to - and you walk away Loving him!). So I thought about beginning and essay for his and my sake about why I will not vote for President Bush. (Surprised? I didn't think so.) I'd love for him to be able to give stronger arguments regarding my severe dislike for his policies. I'll get that to you - but it may take a while, as it just became a zygote in my mind this morning. I have an idea of using the theme "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness" for a basic structure.

Speaking of zygotes, I was also thinking of an anti-abortion argument my brother made. He said that even without knowing if a spirit has entered a developing life while still in the whom, the process of life has naturally begun, and committing an unnatural act to stop it is wrong. But if this is the argument, the same must also be true for the natural process of death. If I had cancer, the process of death has begun in me, and it takes a very unnatural act (surgery, chemo, etc.) to stop it. Does that make stopping death wrong? I don't think so.

I am not pro-abortion, though I do/would support stem cell research - I am, however, undecided as to whether or not to be pro-choice. Should a woman be allowed to make her own choice given her own unique circumstances - perhaps bringing a child into the world where it won't be given the proper care it needs to preserve family - or should that be dictated by law? By the spin of my stating the subject, you can see where I lean. Yet, at the same time, there is a very real possibility that I cannot bear children of my own. And this makes me take this issue deeply seriously. Adoption is certainly the best option for an unwanted pregnancy... yet there are countless unwanted children born in other countries where women don't abort the child - and they are in desperate need of someone willing to adopt them. I have a friend who worked in a Chinese orphanage - and it makes me heartsick.

I've also been pondering what I should do when people I'm just meeting find fun in making fun of those around them. I want nothing to do with conversations like that - but is it more loving to say something, quite possibly isolating myself from possible friendship - or to stay quiet? And, I must love everyone - so I need to give these people a fair chance to show me their positive qualities. So, I've been pondering what love is on this level.

I'm also trying to figure out how I'm going to keep myself in line and balanced when it comes to dating. I've barely had a chance to even talk to LDS boys here, and I'm getting asked out close to daily by non-members. (I have a very social-oriented job.) How do I balance my goals and desires with my circumstances?

So no, not much has been going on - in life or my mind. :)

How have you been? Are you in need of correspondence? I can definitely write more often if you'd like. How long is your war stay this time?