Interesting

So I've been praying lately to gain a testimony regarding morality (in the physical context). I logically understand all the arguments for it, and live by it, but I've never truly been sold on it on certain levels. This could be a dangerous confession as most people who read this actually know who I am. But anyway -
So I had a victory tonight, but this is on the same level I've always been sold on. So it's really not a victory or learning experience at all, but anyway, it was interesting.

So I spent the day hiking Mt. Hood (Ahhhhhh! I love it here) and although it is a Saturday night, I felt tired and decided not to go out. So I'm messing around on the computer, and a guy begins chatting with me (I should clarify - I don't chat just anywhere, this was LDS chat stuff). Turns out he's in Portland. He invites me to come over to "hang out." So I talk some more, and I discover his motivations. I tell him, nope. No interest at all.

It's good to get that unexpected check-in and know I have a good sense of self worth.

Well...

No contact yet.  Hmmm.  But that's ok, because I got a call from the Relief Society Pres. inviting me to go dancing tomorrow night.  You mean I might actually make friends with a girl before befriend a guy?  Wait, I kinda started doing that Sunday.

I miss being able to be an honorary guy.  (You know, where the guys don't act different because there's a girl around - but you're still a girl, just not one to worry about.)  I really like guys as friends.

I'd really like a guy that likes me in other ways too, though.  Pltttt.

But dancing tomorrow is gonna be fun.  It's not even swing or salsa, which I haven't done for ages, and I'm excited!

Yes. I love Portland.

May-BE, just mayBe

I love how the reader of "The Grinch" puts the emphasis on Be.
We'll see if my date happens this weekend.  I would have been playing phone tag earlier in the week, but I hadn't realized my cell phone's voice mail needed to be set up first.  So Blue (most likely) Boy in Portland and I played our first round of phone tag yesterday.  He called, I called, but let him know the next time he could reach me.  (Today after 6.)

If not, I have been invited to go on a hike this Saturday.  'Tis Good.

Life on Sundays

I don't know where to begin - or how to explain how I feel.
Why am I shy at church social function-type things?  I have no problem speaking up in classes (but not so much I monopolize).  I have no problem being outgoing and wild and crazy if appropriate in certain elements (i.e. swing dancing/game playing, etc.).  I have no problem having meaningful conversations with people.  And outside of church settings - I'm often good at small talk.
 
But those in between class times, and after church/fireside times . . . it's not that I'm shy - I just have absolutely no idea how to approach people or what to say.  Ok.  I guess I AM shy.  So it linger quietly on my own, on a chair or something - until I can go home.
 
I think I mentioned how in Philly Derek realized I could be shy and was surprised (he had met me snowtubing - time for outgoing behavior) while Not-Doc Boy realized I can be silly and was surprised (he had only seen me at church).
 
Maybe it's because I take spiritual things seriously and just can't look at it as a meet market.
 
***
I missed my Philly ward again today, but oh well.  I am once again in a younger ward - have not met a male over 23... but it's just one day so far. None of the talks were insightful, so I really had to depend on the spirit to teach me.  This will be good exercise in humility, which I once again have been focusing on developing.
***
The date I had lined up before I got here hasn't happen yet.  The guy had a conference this weekend, so he was unavailable.  He said he would give me a call this week, however.  Wish me luck.  I'll need it.