Out the door

No Spiderman last night. My co-worker I was going with had a friend call and invite him to go to the coast. He's lived here a year, and goes back to New York next week, and has never been to the coast. I said, GO!!!

I thought about going to a concert last night. I went on a walk instead and decided to save my money. I have to buy food all week in Boston. I gotta go now!

A Canvasser Tried to Kiss Me

A canvasser tried to kiss me tonight, but he didn't get to. On purpose. Too bad for him. :)
I'm being selective these days.

No, there was no date or anything. It was during the post-work social time.

I got to go out canvassing at work today - educating people about what's happening at the Hanford Nuclear site. This is not something I'll be doing. It's just a for-fun cross training thing. But there were lots of cute guys there. On guy who is an English teacher and was just doing this for the summer was great conversation. But the boy who tried to kiss me. Uh - no. Besides. I'm doing this whole working hard to date LDS boys thing.

Shpider

Again, I probably oughtn't (new word - i love it) share this one -- the person it's about now knows about this blog - but hey! Oh well!

It's not a date, but I am going to go see Spider Man (finally) after work Friday, with the other director who's not in Boston. (I'll be headed there for next week, while he stays behind to run the office.) He is good looking. And has a brain.

Jumping the Gun

So today I was in downtown Portland at a Press conference for work. Walking back to the office I saw a guy that looked just like the guy who had written me saying "I'll have to take you out when you get here." He was walking hand in hand with a gorgeous girl.
This is the story as I imagine it:
It's just like that Utah ask to the dance thing, where you ask/get asked a month to early, and then during that month meet someone you totally like, and by the time the dance comes around you're just not interested.

See, he totally dropped contact the minute I got here. He probably remembers that he had mentioned taking me out, and is now so embarrassed about it that he's just avoiding talking to me.

It's too bad. It would have been good to have an LDS friend.

A Poet

And then one day I suddenly became the writer of love poems -
which I had always thought
were silly
and usually pretty stupid
always at least sappy.

And when the muses spoke
it was always about
love.
and I thought - am I that
desperate?

I don't feel Lonely,
except for when I want company,
but not the kind of company
I always seem to find.

But then they were all
Love Poems -
which I guess is
ok.

Your Perfect Pride

I have hope for you because

• you're perfect

for me

which is selfish because

• you're perfect

for anyone

• with eyes
• or a mind
• or a heart.

Except you won't because

• you're perfect

way is planned because

• you're perfect

path includes no one
but you
and your

perfection.

Left Hand

If I could make my left hand work
then I would write a song,
and sing it in the hippest clubs
about how you were wrong.
I'd sing it in my pretty voice
and kids would think I'm hot -
it's only 'cause my hand won't work
my songs just sit and rot.

I'd make 'em sound real funky
in a cute rock sweety voice
an' I'd dress 'em up real punky
and my lyrics would be choice.
I wanna sing my songs about you
and I wanna see your face
when I'm singin' that "I love you"
lookin' straight out at your place.

I used to play piano
but it's just not the same thing.
I wanna strum some guitar chords
for songs I wanna sing.
I could sing 'em A'Cappella
but you see, I'm far too shy.
So they'll stay here in my little book,
and I'll never even try.

See, my stupid left hand's broken
it can't hold a single chord
and I'll never sing on stage now
and I'll never be adored.
So I'll just write all the lyrics
and you'll think that it's a poem
and you'll think I'm kinda silly
so instead I'll just stay home.

Look at Me

Once in a While
it's nice to get to
NOT
sell yourself for naught
when someone asks you to.
(A recognition
of Self Worth
which is
AT LEAST
to sell oneself for
LOVE
that is sincere
not just that is selfish.) -
With a silent smirk
of selfish pride
that someone
would ask.