It's not the End

So I was thinking and thinking and thinking, trying to decide what to do. I called my mother and talked it out with her. I called my father and talked it out with him. I guess I think too much like them, because they didn't have anything to tell me that I hadn't already thought about.

Then I talked to one of my roommates, who's about to have her 10 year anniversary with her partner, and has had to do several bouts of longdistancing. All the ideas of Derek and I working out were there, and all the realistic thoughts that the worst and best case scenarios whether I stay or go were there, and I wasn't really worried.

She pointed out that me being able to find another job wouldn't be a problem. I've had plenty of call backs and interviews, and all for very good jobs. But, I wouldn't get to start looking again until mid-June, and then it may be another six months or who knows how long before I find the next good job. I may as well take this opportunity in Portland, as I would already have six months of experience under my belt by the time I would even begin another job elsewhere.

If something is going to happen between Derek and I, it still will. He/we can make the effort to travel to see eachother and although he does have a more permanent type job, he's not locked in to staying here.

Then I felt great. That's it then! Nothings stopping me. I'm going to Oregon.

So then, it was happy times through American Idol time at Grandma's house (that's the name of the house where I live at my work) my home teacher came to teach me for the last time before we both move. The lesson he had prepared was on making Choices. Funny that. The line that stood out to me most was that not making a choice IS a choice. And thus, Derek had made a choice.

After that I called Derek, to let him know I had decided on Portland. Suddenly, he realized how really sad the thought of me leaving made him. I told him all the great reasons to go, and even that things don't have to be over, and he was only thinking how stupid he's been to not recognize what he's had all this time. "Well," I said "If you think I'm making a big mistake stop me now!"

Portland here I come. Let the next adventure begin! Whether it's me or another girl, I think Derek won't let his opportunities pass him by so easily next time.