What I don't want

Is to have to decide or commit to any person right now.

Based on much of our conversation Monday Night, Portland Perfection has decided to break up with his girlfriend because he realizes it's not based in love... it's based in fear and his desire to "fix" her. He says he doesn't expect anything with us - that would be unfair - but he has decided he wants to explore the REAL possibility of REAL love, and therefore has to not be in an unhealthy relationship.

If any relationship happens, it will now be like my usual. Slow, logic, level headed. My wall has been rebuilt, and I don't think I could choose for it to be instantly flattened like it was before. Perhaps a few stones will come down - but not easily.

Besides, I have a lawyer who likes me. And another guy who is a dancer. And, I want to explore other interests. Just emotionally unavailable I guess.