Well, actually...
(For any readers who are not a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, this is what I refer to when I say "activity" or "the church" or "a member." As I am part of the church, and dating within this realm is part of what this blog is about, it's easier just to refer to things that way.)
I haven't been completely honest here. Portland Perfection's current activity in the church is in question - within his own mind, and I don't know to what extent in his actions. He's experiencing the same questions between doctrinal teachings, cultural practices - and things that don't seem to add up - that I had about a year ago. When I was seriously tackling those questions, my activity never dropped off, but mentally I was unsure if staying a member of the church was really the best way for me to go. I was re-finding my place and my role as a member and I'm really glad I went through that.
On one of our very first dates he told me he wanted to be completely honest with me about where he stood in terms of church membership, etc. He didn't want to make me think he was perfect EQ Pres, weekly temple attending man (as he had been in the past). He told me exactly where he is now and that's he's really heavily questioning where he fits in to it all.
Him telling me this really excited me because I could relate in a way that I've never really talked to anyone about before - except one night where I called up the old best friend, Utah Band Boy, and his wife was wonderful enough to be ok with him helping me talk through some things. It also excited me that he was that upfront and honest about who he is and where he stands right now in life. That (he likes to call it) "authenticity" (which I really like) is something I actually require from people. I don't demand it in a mean way - but I'm so real about who I am and where I stand on things that others either feel safe opening up to me, which I prefer, or they avoid me because it's intimidating.
It's exactly why I could never play that game of just being cute and dumbing myself down for the sake of getting a guy. I need a guy that is self assured enough to be comfortable with a girl who is self aware and self accepting.
I applaud where PP is right now. In fact, I love it. People should delve deep and question these types of things! And I realized I'm totally ok if those of you who know me and are lovingly protective of me freak out now. I began this blog to be totally honest about my relationships, and I shouldn't let fear of family reading hold me back from things I really want to say.
So there it is.
I haven't been completely honest here. Portland Perfection's current activity in the church is in question - within his own mind, and I don't know to what extent in his actions. He's experiencing the same questions between doctrinal teachings, cultural practices - and things that don't seem to add up - that I had about a year ago. When I was seriously tackling those questions, my activity never dropped off, but mentally I was unsure if staying a member of the church was really the best way for me to go. I was re-finding my place and my role as a member and I'm really glad I went through that.
On one of our very first dates he told me he wanted to be completely honest with me about where he stood in terms of church membership, etc. He didn't want to make me think he was perfect EQ Pres, weekly temple attending man (as he had been in the past). He told me exactly where he is now and that's he's really heavily questioning where he fits in to it all.
Him telling me this really excited me because I could relate in a way that I've never really talked to anyone about before - except one night where I called up the old best friend, Utah Band Boy, and his wife was wonderful enough to be ok with him helping me talk through some things. It also excited me that he was that upfront and honest about who he is and where he stands right now in life. That (he likes to call it) "authenticity" (which I really like) is something I actually require from people. I don't demand it in a mean way - but I'm so real about who I am and where I stand on things that others either feel safe opening up to me, which I prefer, or they avoid me because it's intimidating.
It's exactly why I could never play that game of just being cute and dumbing myself down for the sake of getting a guy. I need a guy that is self assured enough to be comfortable with a girl who is self aware and self accepting.
I applaud where PP is right now. In fact, I love it. People should delve deep and question these types of things! And I realized I'm totally ok if those of you who know me and are lovingly protective of me freak out now. I began this blog to be totally honest about my relationships, and I shouldn't let fear of family reading hold me back from things I really want to say.
So there it is.
posted by Amberlynn at
9:55 PM
2 Comments:
All I know is.... DANG I'm good! Either I'm like super Magnum P.I. or I have some special Yellow radar.
My Spidey senses were tingling.
I love you
By
brohammas, at 5:52 AM
I applaud where PP is right now. In fact, I love it. People should delve deep and question these types of things!
Some things are true. Granted it is important that each person realize this on thier own to have a real conviction, but it does not change that some things are true "period". It seems to me that a person who has experianced what PP has should be at a place where they know what they believe. A mission, a marriage, both things that should have led him to find these things out long ago. I'm curious what the specific issues he has are (you could call me:)) but ven more I am concerned that if he hasn't figured it out by now when will he? The fact that you applaud his questioning makes me nervous. The guy aint 19 yrs old. I would see this as a concern but you have chosen to view it as a posative. Rose colored glasses perhaps? Blinded by love?
Really I don't know the guy. I know it sounds like I'm way too skeptical but realize this:
Whether I like him or not is irrelivant, I have no opinion, I don't know him. But I know what is most important and it is the gospel. It is "the Church". That is what is #1 and if he isn't on board...strike three.
By
brohammas, at 12:42 PM
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