Follow Up on the last post...

Too much happens, and when I don't have internet at home to keep me up too late after work, things don't get posted... what with Idaho White coming to visit, and the stresses of this week and all.

So OK, OK, I'll write something already. I'm at the point where I really need to anyway.

So here's the deal. I'm at the point in my life where I'm getting that irritating itch to settle down, and I wanna be a Mom, which for me means having a husband. Which also means I'm taking those I date seriously. Not in the sense of saying "let's get married!" right away, but in the sense of evaluating early on if things could head in that direction, or if I'm wasting time. Usually this is not something I think about until month six or so in a relationship. But it's time to be impatient!

So, I was praying about whether things were going in a positive direction, or if I was wasting my time to realize it sooner rather than later. The only kind of answers I was getting was to bring it (the concept of praying about "us") up with him. I didn't want to do that! That would freak him out and make him think I'm talking about marraige already or something.

But then, after a few weeks of postponing any follow through on that one, he asked me if there was anything in particular he could do for me, overall. A way to treat me even better, or whatever. I couldn't think of anything initially, he already does so much that is thoughtful and tries to please me in every way. But then, later it hit me. Ok, I thought, time to bring "it" up. So I told him the one thing he could do for me is to pray about me. Of course, I said it will all sorts of qualifications - not the "should I marry this girl" type of praying, just the "is it right to be with her, are things headed in the right direction" type praying.

This led into the extended DTR (Determine the Relationship). Level 2 is just whatever happens after the initial DTR of "We are boyfriend and girlfriend" or whatever the determination result is. He said he didn't want to rush into any decisions that have to do with marraige... He said he's seen too many people make mistakes that way.
I said my opinion on that matter was I don't want to rush either, but no matter what the timeline is people make mistakes, and the surest way to make mistakes is not having inspiration from God as part of the picture. As long as that level is there throughout, there's no chance of "making a mistake." That is not to say that I don't recognize that marraige is something that takes a lot of work for any lasting commitment to really happen.

He said he hadn't been praying about me and/or us because he realized he probably wouldn't be able to accept any answer he received at that point - be it "break up with her" or "get serious." I said it doesn't have to be that kind of prayer. Instead, it should be, "Am I headed in the right direction, or should I switch gears?"

He also said he was glad I brought this up, because he had been hesitant to tell me, but now he felt he could tell me that he really thinks he's falling in love with me. I told him that's sweet, but I'm not at a point where I can say that yet. I think he's great, but the L word is not one that hits me swiftly, nor do I prioritize it as the most important factor in potential marraige companion.