Insanity

I spent the next week feeling a bit crazy. Actually, not just feeling, I was crazy!

I knew there was truly no time rush, but suddenly I felt pressure to decide how I felt about the church, and if I wanted to marry my Yellow Farmer, and the last I'd been able to correspond with my sister it sounded to me like she may be getting divorced - well, she'd mentioned that word anyway (*don't worry family, she's ok - I found out finally - after worrying so long*), but I was working so much we couldn't even *schedule* a time to talk, and I was supposed to go to a retreat that weekend for work, but really to me it was just one more busy thing I HAD to do and no time to think clearly through anything or even breathe.

On my lunch breaks, or on short walks to the bank for work, I would call a friend and try to talk through things. When I was home at night I would pray. I would wake up in the morning and ponder and pray and attempt to find some scripture to concentrate on or study but my mind wouldn't be calm.

I decided to be assertive and talk to my boss about not wanting to go to the retreat. I told him I was in a really negative mind space about it, and I was losing patience dealing with my staff at work, and I had a lot of personal issues to deal with, and please I don't want to go. He said ok, as long as I plan on going to the 4th of July retreat. Ahhhh yes! Just that one huge relief and I already felt SO MUCH better.

I was also supposed to work that Sunday, but my boss called me on Sunday morning and offered to work it for me so I could have that day off too. Wow! Double great.

I meant to spend that time in introspective quiet personal reflection. But, my spirits were SO lifted that all I really wanted to do was run around and play. I could play! No stress, hurray!