Moving On, I hope...

So Derek and I were trying to recruit for camping, and got mostly no's, but I think it's still a go. We found a few people to go. With an undercurrent of understanding Derek said, "I can probably persuade Not-Doc Boy to be there if you want." I immediately shook my head no, and there was an unspoken OH! from Derek.

Later I said, "Yeah, about that. Don't encourage him. It's been a little overwhelming as of late - but you don't know what that's like." With an added wink (reffering to my own behavior toward Derek, as well as formerly mentioned blonde girl).

Smile and nod, "No, not at all."

"But I just want to be friends with you... so." and it stopped there.

I don't want to be to Derek what Not-Doc Boy is to me... but there ARE important differences. I have been honest from the get go with Not-Doc Boy that I am not interested in that way. I will smile and flirt, and let him take me out and such... but I never kissed him, and the little bit of hand holding was all his doing and I even told him it was too much. He occasionally puts his arm around me, but he does that with others. I don't settle in, or even attempt to cuddle with him, and he still just keeps being right there -
DEREK held my hand, HE did kiss me, and as he'd never kissed anyone before, I thought he meant something by it. And when I cuddle, even though we clarified nothing is meant by it... he cuddles back. But now we are clear, and know he just wants a friendship - but he will sometimes give personalized flirtations.

So I'm not going to deal with any of it. I'm totally not interested in anyone - which makes the idea of not staying in the area based on whatever job I get just fine. And I'll begin again my efforts to meet NEW guys here too.