Clear as Celephane...

The phone call came. It was pleasant, but...
"You already know what my short answer is" says he. And? "I like hanging out with you. You're a fun girl." I know that much! But that doesn't answer my questions...

One answer comes secured: "Well, I don't hang out with you just because you're flattering..."
One option I had given him (for why he acts the way he does) was that he hangs on to me because the fact that I like him is flattering, so he flirts when it's convenient (when we're alone) because it makes him feel good, and evades me when it's convenient (when others are around) because it makes him feel awkward.
"There are plenty of flattering girls I don't hang out with..."
"I'm not quite as scary as they are"
"yeah" he laughs.
"yet" I add.

Another option I had given him: That he just takes each moment as it comes, and doesn't put any effort into trying to figure it out as I may be leaving soon anyway.
His reply: He actually has put some time into trying to figure things out. He just hasn't.
"I don't really have a long answer... I thought we were clear on things." He concludes.

Well, we were - I explain. As I told him before, I will cuddle with "just friends," but I will guard my flirting if there's no chance for me liking them more... I'm not really one to talk, I admit, sometimes I flirt more than I realize - but I'm always honest
I'll tell a guy if he's got no chance, or needs to back off or slow down.


It's just that he's an extremely sincere guy... he couldn't even give these girls hugs because he didn't feel sincere about it. So when he flirts with me, I wonder if he means anything by it. I just don't want him to lead me on without realizing it.

He gets what I'm saying. But he doesn't know, "I guess I just don't have much practice."
"That's your own fault."
"Well, I always choose what kind of awkward it's going to be. Me either doing too much or too little. Lately its been too little 'cause I'm sick of feeling stupid when I do too much."
"I feel stupid a lot around you," I say.
"Sorry to make you feel stupid!" he says.
"It's my choice, it's not your making it happen."

He used to - in his own words - stalk girls. (Not STALK, but try too hard.) I don't believe it! It's true. And look what's happened. He's scared one too many girls, that now he's almost afraid to do anything.
If only I could be overly and cutely pursued by someone I was interested in. I don't want to scare Not-Doc boy into doing too little... but you've gotta be sure the feeling is mutual when going for the real sweet stuff. I'm very level headed - but a true romantic at heart. I must admit, my dream response would have been for him to drive out here, and surprise me with flowers and a bear hug and say "I'm sorry!" But Dreams. Reality told me we'd end where we did...

"Well, I guess it's good enough" I say. "Not clear as glass, but clear as cellophane."
Amazingly, he totally understands! "Sometimes transparent, sometimes translucent-"
"Yup, depending on if it's stretched tight or crumpled... so we're good - until I go crazy next time." He laughs. I guess so -
We go on to talking about if I'll get to go camping or at least get in some good play time before my time is done here...