And after Sunday
Ok, total confusion. In church, Derek came and sat by me. :)
He didn't sit next to me, though. There was enough room for an entire large body to sit between us. Even after I teased him asking if he was afraid that I would bite, he didn't scoot over. And when the meeting was over, he immediately got up, without even looking at me, and went to talk to someone else without even saying anything to me.
I didn't see him again until after two more meetings. I was waiting outside an office to meet with someone else, and he had to wait near there for a different person. He talked to me then, but never sat down, and always stood on the other side of the foyer. What is up with this! At least before he left he told me he would be going straight home, as opposed to the possibility of coming out to my place. I looked at him and said "I just don't get it." "I know" he said.
I figured he just didn't want there to be rumors out there that we were anything more than we are. And what are we anyway? Does he consider me a girlfriend, or just someone he's dating, or who knows? If he can cuddle with me on a Metro, he should be able to speak to me at church. It's not like I would try cuddling with him there or anything! I have a hard time trusting someone who can't be comfortable being seen with me in public - strangers and friends.
So I called him to try to figure things out. Unlike many guys, he was completely aware of what happened, and even felt bad. I was right that he didn't want rumors and such, but he admitted that he overeacted. He didn't have any sort of real answer the DTR stage of "what am I to you?" We finally got to a comfortable stage of understanding that he just doesn't know. Well, it is too early to know anything complicated... but I also don't want to waste my time. If there's no possibilities than I need to be seeking elsewhere. These are the risks one takes when deciding to just like someone full force. I've taken a different approach to this whole thing than I ever have before; maybe it wasn't right. Maybe, we'll see. But my old method was definetly in need of revision because it wasn't right either.
Ok, total confusion. In church, Derek came and sat by me. :)
He didn't sit next to me, though. There was enough room for an entire large body to sit between us. Even after I teased him asking if he was afraid that I would bite, he didn't scoot over. And when the meeting was over, he immediately got up, without even looking at me, and went to talk to someone else without even saying anything to me.
I didn't see him again until after two more meetings. I was waiting outside an office to meet with someone else, and he had to wait near there for a different person. He talked to me then, but never sat down, and always stood on the other side of the foyer. What is up with this! At least before he left he told me he would be going straight home, as opposed to the possibility of coming out to my place. I looked at him and said "I just don't get it." "I know" he said.
I figured he just didn't want there to be rumors out there that we were anything more than we are. And what are we anyway? Does he consider me a girlfriend, or just someone he's dating, or who knows? If he can cuddle with me on a Metro, he should be able to speak to me at church. It's not like I would try cuddling with him there or anything! I have a hard time trusting someone who can't be comfortable being seen with me in public - strangers and friends.
So I called him to try to figure things out. Unlike many guys, he was completely aware of what happened, and even felt bad. I was right that he didn't want rumors and such, but he admitted that he overeacted. He didn't have any sort of real answer the DTR stage of "what am I to you?" We finally got to a comfortable stage of understanding that he just doesn't know. Well, it is too early to know anything complicated... but I also don't want to waste my time. If there's no possibilities than I need to be seeking elsewhere. These are the risks one takes when deciding to just like someone full force. I've taken a different approach to this whole thing than I ever have before; maybe it wasn't right. Maybe, we'll see. But my old method was definetly in need of revision because it wasn't right either.
posted by Amberlynn at
7:58 AM
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